Bored Dogs

I read somewhere once that “A bored dog is a destructive dog.” This was in the context of dog training, but the phrase has stuck with me. 

I talk about the concept of stimulation a lot with my clients, especially if they have ADHD. This is an aspect of well-being that doesn’t get discussed very often in the neurotypical world.

We all need different levels of stimulation throughout our days. When we are over-stimulated, we get frazzled and overwhelmed. If we’re under-stimulated, we might feel restless or lethargic. Either way, it’s hard to think clearly. Being appropriately stimulated help us stay motivated, engaged, and present.

(There’s also the matter of getting the right types of sensory, emotional, or mental inputs. But maybe a topic for another newsletter.)

While under-stimulation goes beyond mere boredom, I think the analogy holds. Bored dogs find ways to entertain themselves, whether it’s by digging holes in the backyard or chewing up the furniture. Under-stimulated humans do the same, except we doomscroll, turn to substances, or cause trouble in other ways. We might start to ruminate, our minds starting to chew on itself.

So the next time you find yourself feeling antsy or turning to bad habits, check in with yourself - are you bored? If so, is there a better chew toy you can gnaw on? Whether it’s going for a workout or planning your next vacation, it can be helpful to funnel that excess energy elsewhere. Making friends with that bored dog in your brain is a lot more effective than ignoring it. 

Take care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• My caseload is currently full and I am not accepting new clients.

Some recent delights:

• I was staying with friends in Portland and got to hang out with their adorable pup Toby (pictured above).

• I took myself out on a nice little date to Canard, which ended up being one of my favorite meals of the trip. The duck frites were phenomenal!

• My mom and I road tripped our way down the Oregon/California coast. Highlights included trail-running in Jedediah Smith Redwoods and stargazing in Humboldt. What a life.

Acts of Devotion

As the days get longer, I’ve been trying to take full advantage of the summer season. If you know me, you probably know I try to spend as much time outdoors as possible. Whether it’s road tripping to national parks, camping, or evening walks after work, I love it all. 

I sometimes joke that trail-running is my form of going to church. I don’t have much experience with organized religion, but the comparison still resonates with me.

First, getting outdoors is something that requires devotion. I manage my time, energy, and resources to prioritize being in nature. That includes committing to consistent routines and declining invitations for other things that I would love to do. I have to intentionally make it a priority.

In return, I am nourished in so many ways. Often, I am reminded of how small and insignificant I am. That’s not a bad thing. In fact, I feel a sense of belonging to the Earth and the universe around me. I get to revel in the wonder of being part of something sacred or seeing something so beautiful. I practice interdependence, to honor and care for the places (and their animal residents) that show me such hospitality. 

Not only am I connected to Mother Nature, but I find community with people as well. I love chatting with the other people in the mountains, even if it’s just to say “It’s so gorgeous out today!” I love hearing about other people’s adventures. It’s nice knowing that there are so many others who share the same values and interests.

There’s also an important element of faith and surrender being in the great outdoors. You must acknowledge the many things outside of your control. Whether it’s inclement weather or getting lost in the trails, there are plenty of opportunities to practice both self-sufficiency and radical acceptance. Things happen - how do I want to choose to respond?

Lastly, spending time in nature just makes me feel good. I feel good in my body when I’m active. I get quiet time to be with myself and spirit. Oftentimes after I return home, I return with more perspective on my issues and a renewed confidence in my ability to handle them.

Maybe I just wanted an excuse to write a love letter to nature. I’m so grateful. As Mary Oliver reminds us, we only get this “one wild and precious life.” So what do you devote yours to? 

Take care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• My caseload is currently full and I am not accepting new clients.

Some recent delights:

• Buying myself flowers at the farmer’s market <3

• On a bike adventure with my brother-in-law and my niece, we stumbled upon a live ambient acid house dj set/hacky sack meet-up called the Sunday Shred.

• The hip-hop harpist I saw at one of my favorite parties in SF

Growing Self-Compassion

It’s Spring. The fire horse year gallops full speed ahead. I am trying my best to harness all the forward motion towards the things my soul truly desires. I’m doing okay at it, I think. I try not to over-exert myself or get stuck in my head. I win some, I lose some.

On the hard days, I grasp at some solution that can make it all better. It so rarely exists. Sometimes, the best I can do is untangle myself from all the mental traps I’ve set and be with myself as I am. Self-compassion doesn’t fix all my problems, but it does stop me from making things worse. Life is hard enough already, why make it harder for myself?

This quarter I’m trying something a little different. Instead of a 1-hour workshop, I’ll be offering a free monthlong email course on Growing Self-Compassion. Each Sunday from June 7th to June 28th, you’ll get an email in your inbox that includes the theme for the week, an experiential activity, and a practice prompt. There will also be 2 live Q&A sessions throughout the month to support your self-practice (dates TBD). These live sessions will not be recorded.

As people get busy, I hope this format offers a more accessible way to continue tending to yourself. Work at your own pace, come back to it when you can. Hope to see you there. Register here.

Take care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• My caseload is currently full and I am not accepting new clients.

Some recent delights:

• A couple weeks ago, I spoke on a panel in SF on burnout & redefining success hosted by Asian Inc. It’s so nice to get off Zoom-land and connect with a crowd in-person!

• When the sun is out, golden hour at Ocean Beach is exactly where I want to be.

Easing Through Transitions

I was down in LA hanging out with my niece (and sister and brother-in-law) recently.  She’s almost 2 and extremely cute.

My niece can also struggle with transitions. Any disruption to her schedule can throw off her mood and sleep. To help with upcoming changes, we start preparing her earlier in the day, telling her what will happen later and repeating many times to let it sink in. 

We remind her things like “Dada is doing bedtime tonight” and “We can play for 5 more minutes and then we go home.” She might not like whatever is happening next, but at least it’s not a total shock. When she understands what is going on, she is better able to take it in stride. 

We also learned the value of extra breathing room throughout the day. Anybody who has ever tried to hustle children out the door knows that it always takes longer than you think it will. Even after going back inside multiple times, sometimes we still forget their shoes. 

I empathize with my niece. Even for adults, change is hard. Even good change is still disruptive. I wonder if we can apply this same approach not only to children but also to ease ourselves through transitions. 

Our modern life moves in ways that our poor bodies are not built for. We can hop on a plane and time travel. We rush from Zoom meeting to Zoom meeting while our bodies stay in one place. Everybody complains of being busy, but with what? This dissonance is so odd. No wonder our nervous systems are fried! No wonder we have a hard time feeling present. 

So what if we slowed things down? What if we stopped overcommitting to plans, reminded ourselves of what’s next, and built in buffer time? What if, instead of hopping off a red-eye and going straight to work after vacation, we gave ourselves even half a day to decompress?

It doesn’t mean we have to like what’s coming next, but at least we can give ourselves more ease. 

Take care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• I currently have one opening in my caseload for a new client. Reach out today to schedule a free consultation and see if we would be a good fit.

Some recent delights:

• I swung by some friends’ house for a quick hello and ended up staying for hours as they cooked me dinner <3

• I took a weeklong roadtrip to Utah to do a LOT of running and hiking. Zion National Park is phenomenal! (See picture above)

• Driving for 7 hours on Highway 50 across Nevada, known as the loneliest road in America. Something about the wide open road with mountains in the background and nobody else around…

Balance is a Verb

It feels like the past month or so flew by. After a couple weeks of intense rain, the weather has turned abruptly and Spring has definitively arrived in California. (Or maybe even Summer…thanks climate change.)

Coming out of hibernation, I have more energy, more excitement, and more plans on the horizon. I’m getting better at planning more realistically, but having a lot of fun can get tiring.

A yoga teacher said once to think of balance as a verb. As we wobbled in some one-legged posture, he directed us to notice all the tiny stabilizing muscles working to keep us steady. An active process, if you will.

As I think broadly of what self-care means, this perspective has stuck with me. Instead of looking for that one perfect solution that will fix everything forever, maybe taking care of ourselves is an ongoing process of checking in with what we need and adapting accordingly.

Sometimes I want to go to a music festival. Sometimes I want to go to bed at 9:30pm. Sometimes I want to work a lot, and other times I want to be deep in a forest with nobody else around.

All things are impermanent, including my own feelings and needs. Checking in with myself helps me ride the waves of change. How do you find balance in the flow of your own life?

Take care,

Naomi

PS: I’m beginning to plan my next quarterly offering. If there are any particular topics or formats you’d love to see, please let me know!

Announcements/Resources:

• I currently have one opening in my caseload for a new client. Reach out today to schedule a free consultation and see if we would be a good fit.

Some recent delights:

• I attended my first Galentine’s Day event which was lovely. We yapped, we made crafts, and reveled in sisterhood.

• I spent a weekend in Big Sur with my mom, the first time we’ve traveled together in awhile. The California coast sure is special.

• Not mine, but the delight of the dog joyfully rolling around in the seal carcass on the beach (before running back to his unsuspecting family).

On Being Sick

It feels like I’ve been sick for almost all of 2026 so far. For the first 3 weeks I felt very grumpy about it - trapped indoors, antsy, and bored out of my mind. After a brief reprieve towards the end of January, I somehow got sick AGAIN (I didn’t even know adults could get strep throat).

This second round I have been trying something new. I am trying to be compassionate towards my poor body. It’s suffering! It’s trying so hard to get better! It’s doing its best! I try to offer it (me) some gentle loving-kindness.

This is a little intense, but I also think back to the meditation retreat I attended on befriending mortality. Every passing moment moves me towards the end of my life. Bodies are meant to decay. As I get older I cannot expect my body to function the way it did when I was younger. Releasing myself from that unfair standard brings me more ease.

I don’t know if this has made a difference in how quickly I’m recovering, but I hope so. I did go see my doctor this time, which definitely has helped. At the very least, I feel more peace in my present moment.

Sometimes there isn’t anything we can do to hurry through the hard parts. In those moments, I can only practice how to accompany myself with love.

Take care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• I have an opening in my caseload for an individual client. Reach out today to see if we’d be a good fit.

Some recent delights:

• If you know me personally you might have heard me wax poetic about Rancho Gordo beans. I received The Bean Book for Christmas and perusing it during my meals brings me so much joy.

• My niece now asks to call me daily before dinner. My heart!

• On a recent run in Marin I found a few silly unexpected things on the trails, like santas in a bathtub (see above).

Looking Forward

Man, that holiday season was a doozy. Between a variety of illnesses, a 48-hour San Francisco blackout, holiday chaos, and an unexpected goodbye, it has been a hell of a month. I limped my way into 2026 and can only hope that this year will be more easeful than the last.

Luckily, if one ascribes by the lunar calendar, we have a second chance to celebrate the new year on February 17th, 2026. Which means that now is the perfect time to reflect on our hopes and intentions for the year of the Fire Horse.

My next community offering is on Intention Setting for the New Year. This free 1.5 hour workshop will take place on Friday January 23rd from 1:00-2:30pm PT. I’ll share an framework that centers intentions instead of unrealistic goals/resolutions so that you can break out of the cycle of aiming too high and then beating yourself up.

I’ll provide a worksheet and practice time for us to work on it together. This space is also intended to help folks connect with each other, so please come ready to participate in small/big group shares. Due to the interactive and interpersonal nature of this workshop, it will not be recorded.

Learn more and register here. I hope to see you there.

Take care,

Naomi

PS: If you have any questions or ideas for future offerings, feel free to respond to this email and let me know!

Announcements/Resources:

• I have an opening in my caseload for an individual client. Reach out today to see if we’d be a good fit.

Some recent delights:

• I got to spend a lot of time with my niece over the holidays. That’s all :)

• Recent sunsets in my neighborhood have been phenomenal. I love my neighborhood and the ocean as my backyard.

Building Community

I’ve been thinking a lot about community lately. A lot of folks are lonely and yearning to feel like they belong to something bigger than themselves. Unfortunately, we can’t all live in idyllic cul-de-sacs surrounded by our favorite people. 

Regardless, there are so many different kinds of community formed from so many different kinds of relationships. As I’ve just passed two years living in San Francisco, I’m really feeling settled into this current chapter of my life. A big part of that is feeling like I have community beyond the friendships that I hold dear.

Some of the different places I feel this: I enjoy the dogs (and their owners) that I recognize on my morning walks. For some reason, when you’re on the beach around sunrise people are much more likely to say good morning. I’ve made an effort to reach out to other therapists because private practice can be isolating. I love connecting to the other students at my dance studio, cheering each other on and laughing as we try something new. 

I don’t know all of these people’s names. We’re not really connected on social media and it’s unclear if and when I’m going to see them again. Regardless, their presence adds to my life. When I returned to dance after 6 months away, people said, “Hey you’re back!” Collectively, these people and places help me feel like I have somewhere I belong to. Maybe this can inspire you to think creatively about your communities as well.

Ultimately, building community takes time and effort. One way to start is just picking a space that feels good enough and showing up over time. Repetition breeds familiarity. From there, maybe you can practice being proactive about chatting with others or initiating activities, if it’s appropriate. Even commiserating about the weather with your barista can be a nourishing interaction. We all gotta start somewhere. 

Take Care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• If you’re like me and starting to think ahead to 2026, consider joining me at my next free workshop on Friday January 23rd, 2026. We’ll gather (in community!) to practice Intention Setting for the New Year. Hope to see you there. 

• I have an opening in my caseload for an individual client. Reach out today to see if we’d be a good fit.

• I revamped my website this past month. If you’re curious, check it out!

Some recent delights:

• My niece has started to name me! I am her 阿姨 (auntie in Chinese, pronounced ah-yi), but she pronounces it in one syllable as “eye” or “ai”, which is also how you say the word love (愛).

• I’m watching Lazarus, a new anime coming from the director of Cowboy Bebop. Beautifully done, amazing soundtrack. Would recommend.

• I tried out a new yoga studio while I was down in LA and the classes were amazing. I felt challenged, I tried new things, and when we chanted Om all together it was in delicious harmony.

New Growth

I turned 35 recently. Being halfway through my thirties is an interesting place to be. Inevitably, I have been doing a lot of reflecting. A good friend asks me two birthday questions each year, one of which is, “What are you most proud of?” Here are some of my answers:

• Following my weeklong meditation retreat last year, I’ve been able to integrate and maintain those ways of being in my day-to-day life.

• I worked a lot on my relationship to money and the feeling of enough-ness.

• 2025 has been the Year of Maybes. I got a lot of practice on how to be with myself (gently) in uncertainty.

• I took concrete steps to explore and experiment in my career. Not everything worked out, but it feels good to finally be doing something.

• While I’ve known for a long time the things that I need, I now feel much more confident in my ability to follow through and execute those ideas.

• I’m finding a more sustainable balance of the things I do for myself and the things I do for my community.

On the outside, my life doesn’t look that different from a year ago. But I feel really different inside. There’s a lot more slowness, quiet, acceptance, and spaciousness. What a nice place to come home to.

The second birthday question is, “What are you looking forward to?” It feels like I’ve fully landed in this chapter of my life, and I think the answer is just to keep doing what I’m doing. Assuming life doesn’t throw any major curveballs (it probably will!), I am so looking forward to seeing how things continue to unfold.

Announcements/Resources:

• I have an opening in my caseload for an individual client. Reach out today to see if we’d be a good fit.

• Save the date! My next community offering on intention setting for the new year is tentatively scheduled for January 26th, 2026.

Some recent delights:

• A complete rainbow above the Pacific Ocean at sunrise! Such a marvel.

• I recently began my level 1 training in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy as part of an all-BIPOC cohort. My nervous system feels so calm and safe in this decolonized learning environment.

• Last weekend I held a craft night birthday party. It was so delightful to get a bunch of friends together to make art!

Loving Boundaries

Boundaries have been a hot topic for some time now. As with any concept that enters the mainstream awareness, I have seen an initially helpful idea get taken in many different directions, often to the extreme. Unfortunately, at the extremes it becomes not quite so helpful. 

Learning how to say no gracefully is a valuable skill. And make no mistake, this is a skill that doesn’t always come naturally but we can develop and strengthen. 

Some concerns that have bubbled for for me: It’s true, we can say no to whatever we want, but at what cost? Are we losing the capacity to sit with messiness and imperfection? Are we forgetting that intimacy requires emotional labor? For those who feel guilty about setting boundaries, has this become yet another thing to beat ourselves up for?

So, here is Loving Boundaries. This one-hour free community workshop offers the idea that boundaries can serve connection instead of distance. Instead of isolating ourselves with rigid walls, we’ll explore a nuanced approach that can help you connect with others without resentment or burnout. My intention is that this workshop can also help you feel more equipped to navigate the upcoming holiday season. 

I hope you’ll join us. Sign up here. 

Announcements/Resources:

• I have an opening in my caseload for an individual client. Reach out today to see if we’d be a good fit.

Some recent delights:

• Spotted from my Uber: 2 people in a laundromat hugging deeply on a Friday at 10pm.

• Sharing a moment of awe with a neighbor as we watched a coyote cross the street around sunrise (and also the sunrise itself!)

Love Made Visible

There’s been a lot of grieving going on around me. Personally & professionally, I’ve found myself tenderly holding space (and hands) with people I care a lot about.

A dear friend recently gave a eulogy in which he described his mom’s activism as “building a community where love was spoken out loud and made visible.”

That line has been echoing in my head since. What is this all for, anyway? All this healing, all this struggling. Waking up each day and trying to move forward however we can. There’s been a lot of uncertainty this year that sometimes makes me feel lost. But if I think about contributing to a world where love is spoken out loud and made visible, I don’t feel so lost anymore.

This could be my last breath. Or yours. Scary as it may be, that knowledge can also be illuminating. Are you living the life you want to be living? What’s most important to you?

To me, it comes back to love. Is there one small way you can make love visible today?

Take care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• Save the date! I’ll be facilitating a free community workshop on Wednesday October 29th at 5:30pm PT on setting boundaries in service of connection. Great for folks who are preparing for the holiday season.

• Applications for the Lotus Therapy Fund by the Asian Mental Health Collective close Friday September 26th at 11:59pm PT! Recipients receive 8 free therapy sessions free of charge.

• I have an opening in my caseload for an individual client. Reach out today to see if we’d be a good fit.

Some recent delights:

• I finally made it out solo camping and found an amazing private spot with a hot tub. Hot tubbing under the moon made me feel so spoiled!

• We threw another creative share party where our friends taught us about jewelry-making, wood-carving, and music history.

• On a recent dancefloor it seemed like we were surrounded by friends as far as the eye could see. Talk about love made visible.

Who the Heck Knows?

A little wildflower somehow growing at 10,500 ft.

“Summer” is finally starting in San Francisco. For those who aren’t familiar, summer in San Francisco is notoriously cold and foggy, whereas early Fall is actually the best weather of the year. I can count the number of sunny days from the past month on one hand or so. That probably contributes to yet another funky month. There’s something particularly offensive about seasonal depression in the summertime, when every bone in my body thinks I should be frolicking in the sun.

With the fog finally lifting and September around the corner, I’ve been wondering where this year has gone. Not much has changed on the surface. I am still grappling with unknowns in most areas of my life. The world is my oyster and all that choice is also a bit paralyzing.

Our brains like certainty because it makes us feel safe. I’m trying to be gentle with myself knowing that I’m doing a hard thing, facing all these question marks. There’s also something to the humor of it, to throw up my hands and admit that I honest-to-god have no idea what is going on. It’s nice to sit with my clients in that space as well, to be in our shared experience of not knowing, together. Who the heck knows!? Not us.

If you can relate, here are some questions that help me move through the uncertainty:

What do I know to be true right now?

What does my body need?

What is one small thing I can do?

I may not know a lot, but these questions at least I can answer. Step by step, day by day, we move forward.

Take Care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• I currently have openings in my caseload. Sliding scale and superbills available. Reach out today to see if we’d be a good fit.

• A free political grief support group for those struggling to make sense of it all

• Yellow Chair Collective is launching a 10-week Asian-American Adult ADHD Virtual Coaching Group starting September 10th

Some recent delights:

• My Yin Yoga teacher tucking blocks under my knees right where I needed them to support me, and then lovingly tucking me in with a blanket for savasana

• The stargazing in Lassen National Park (so underrated!)

• My niece’s first words have been 狗狗 (dog) and 謝謝 (thank you)!

Type 2 Fun

In the outdoorsy/adventure world, people talk about different types of fun. There’s Type 1 fun - easy, pleasant, and enjoyable while it’s happening. Think great conversation over great food, lovely strolls on a nice day, the easy companionship of being with your loved ones.

Then there’s Type 2 fun. This is the type of activity that pushes you, that comes with discomfort and maybe even a healthy dose of risk-taking. Usually you hit a point where you question your life decisions and maybe your sanity. It might not be fun while you do it but afterwards you’re so glad you did. Type 2 fun often makes for great stories and comes with a sense of achievement or fulfillment.

(Apparently there’s also Type 3 fun in which is neither fun during or after. Is that even still fun at all?!)

I recently got back from a 5 day 53 mile hut-to-hut trek in Slovenia. On one particular day as I slogged up 4500 ft of elevation carrying a 20 pound pack, I cursed all the times I thought I was fit enough to do this. I catalogued my complaints: I was tired, my calves were sore, the chafing was making my eczema flare up, and so on and so forth.  

A lot of us are taught to seek ease and convenience. I think that’s partly human nature too. If you grew up in an immigrant household, you probably also heard messages around seeking safety and security above all else. Don’t rock the boat and don’t take risks. Don’t you want to be comfortable?

However, we can’t avoid all discomfort. What do we miss out on when we keep trying to do so? (Unsuccessfully, I might add.) What if instead of trying to avoid all the hard things, we focused instead on choosing hard things that are worth it? What if we embraced a little discomfort and invited some Type 2 fun into our lives?

Eventually I reached a peak with a hut where I could take a break. As I sat eating a snack looking at the view (the one above!), somebody in the food hall started playing a folksy tune on an accordion. Is this real life or a movie? I marveled to myself. Wow, I am so lucky I get to be here.

Take Care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• I currently have openings in my caseload. Sliding scale and superbills available. Reach out today to see if we’d be a good fit!

Some recent delights:

• (Not a usual delight) Beloved poet Andrea Gibson recently passed away. Their partner has lovingly released a poem that Andrea wrote awhile back, When Death Came to Visit.

• I recently read The Other Significant Others by Rhaina Cohen, a wonderful book that shares many stories of unconventional and nonromantic partnerships.

• If you want to see some more pictures from my hike, look here.

Practice

Savasana vibes.

I’ve been doing a lot of yoga lately. I come back to the practice in waves, sometimes more sometimes less. Lately my body has been craving slowness and quiet and yoga has been calling to me.

A lot of people don’t know this but the physical poses (asanas) are just one limb of a holistic yoga practice. Taken all together, the eight limbs of yoga provide guidance on how to live a meaningful life. The other limbs speak to nonviolence, breath work, concentration, and many other principles.

So every time I get on my mat it’s not just a workout or a stretch but a chance to practice. And man, even within the controlled environment of the studio space there are plenty of things to work with. Whether it’s the late arrivals to class or the phone that wasn’t silenced, I try to see it as a chance to cultivate a compassionate and patient heart. I COULD react to these things poorly….but I don’t HAVE to. 

When I’m shaking in a pose, I could think about how weak I am, or I could just take a deep breath and sit with the physical sensations. When I’m the one running late to class I could beat myself up for having poor time management…or I could laugh at the irony of rushing to find stillness. 

This stuff is easier to remember on my mat, but the more I practice the more I remember it off my mat too. What are you practicing lately?

Take care,

Naomi

PS: I’ll be heading off on vacation soon and won’t be back till late July, so look out for my next newsletter then!

Announcements/Resources:

• Applications for the Lotus Therapy Fund by the Asian Mental Health Collective close tonight at 11:59pm PT! Recipients receive 8 free therapy sessions free of charge.

• I will have openings in my caseload starting in late July. Superbills available.

Some recent delights:

• I recently read Beautyland by Marie Helene-Bertino. Her writing is so surprising, simple, and touching.

• Watching Tash Sultana play the song Notion live was heartachingly beautiful. Song currently on repeat.

The Divine Circle

A person very dear to me is experiencing some broken-heartedness.

They are usually quite calm and practical and good-natured. They move through life very competently. It’s rare to see them not only in so much pain, but also willing to share it.

It feels good to be able to show up for them. This person has supported me through all of the hardest times of my life. Having the chance to return the favor is so fulfilling. Much to their surprise, I am not the only person who has expressed this sentiment to them.

When we show our soft underbellies, it not only benefits us but also the other person. It gives them a chance to participate in what Amoretta Morris calls “the divine circle of giving and receiving.” She goes on to say, “By not asking for help when you need it, you are blocking that flow.”

Vulnerability is hard. This comes up all the time in my sessions. We need good reasons to overcome the fear of opening up.

So, do it for you. Do it for the other person. Do it because it’s the only way to be seen. Do it to give others the chance to give. Do it because it feels good to receive. Do it to co-create the kind of world that you want to live in.

Announcements/Resources:

• My practice is currently full and I am not accepting new clients.

Some recent delights:

• I went to a yoga class at a music festival and it was so good I cried. We all held hands in Warrior 3 and I felt so stable and un-alone.

• Cafes that have high quality teas and make it with the right temperature water, steeped for the correct amount of time.

High-Five

The other day as I was walking home I saw two people trying to cross the same crosswalk from opposite ends. One person on each side of the street, sticking their heads out past the parked cars, looking for an opening. Car after car sped by and they were waiting for longer than usual (for this neighborhood anyway).

Finally there was a break in traffic and they both began to walk. As they approached each other in the center of the road, one person threw up a hand.

The other person startled for a moment but quickly responded to this universal gesture.

I watched them hit a high five, laugh, and go on their separate ways.

It’s so nice to see people play.

What are some small silly ways that you play in your day-to-day life?

Take care,

Naomi

PS: My workshop is confirmed! In conjuction with Leadership Education of Asian Pacifics (LEAP), I’ll be facilitating a free online art therapy workshop next Wednesday 5/21 at 12pm PT. In honor of AANHPI Heritage Month, we’ll be celebrating our cultural values. Register here!

Announcements/Resources:

• I will have an opening starting in June for a new individual client. Sliding scale & superbills available.

• A recent New York Times podcast talked about The Secret Power of Siblings.

Some recent delights:

• I’ve been remembering that backing out of plans is an option, especially when I am needing quiet time. Phew!

Spring Has Sprung!

Spring has sprung in New York!

I’m visiting for the first time in a long while and it’s so nice to be back. A lot of dear old friends to catch up with, a lot of yummy things to eat. This is a great chance to try out my new walking sandals too. 

I’m also appreciating the changing of the seasons. There is something really magical about that collective feeling of reawakening that comes along with the days getting longer. 

Is it so crazy to think that we as creatures are inevitably affected by the patterns of the natural world?

During the colder months it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing it will be that way forever. Whether it’s seasonal depression or something else, I get a lot of clients talking about how they have such low energy and motivation. Instead of beating ourselves up, maybe it’s ok for us to rest when our bodies need it. Maybe we can be less willful about forcing things to happen, knowing that Winter will pass. 

Continuing my practice of surrender, I am sitting with what is present. Right now that includes:

• Feeling inspired and a lot of new ideas swirling around my brain

• A rush of energy and excitement to put ideas into action

• So much delight

• The sunlight hitting the cute little backyard of this cafe 

It sure is easier to surrender to delight than discomfort. I know that this too will pass, but until then I’m savoring everything I can.

What are you sitting with this change of the seasons?

What are you allowing yourself to savor?

Take Care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• I have one more opening in my caseload for new individual clients. Sliding scale & superbills available.

• My event with LEAP on 5/21 is on hold - check back here or on my Instagram for updates.

Some recent delights:

• I caught the last day of the orchid show at the New York Botannical Gardens, inspired by Mexican architect Luis Barragan. Check out the photos - the colors were a riot!

• A friend generously invited me to see Kylie Minogue last week. I love spontaneous plans!

Recentering

I have been feeling a bit over-scheduled lately. Over-committed, over-socialized, over-stimulated, etc. I say this while also recognizing I do this to myself. (I promise complaining is not the point of this newsletter.)

One excitable part of me has a lot of interests and gets easily carried away. Another part of me craves quiet and freedom. They are not enemies, although sometimes they argue. The trick is helping them get along. 

When I notice myself getting off-balance, it’s time to change up what I’m doing. Lately I have put a moratorium on future commitments, I have blocked off some days for alone time, and I’ve tried to slow way down. Pull back, slow down, check in. What do I actually need in this moment?

I practice this kind of mindfulness a lot with my clients. I think of mindfulness as a state of mind that we move in and out of throughout our days. Being mindful helps us see what is actually happening inside and outside of us, without judgement. By slowing down and being more present, we give ourselves the opportunity to choose how we want to respond.

I also like to remind my clients that mindfulness is a RE-centering practice. If we assume that getting distracted or off-balance is normal and inevitable (which it is), then the work is in the coming back. Every time we call ourselves back to the present moment we can consider that a win, rather than a failure every time we wander away. Learning to cultivate resilience, instead of perfection. 

So I slow down and recenter. I come back to myself again, and I celebrate that as a success.

Take care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• I have openings in my caseload for new individual clients. Sliding scale & superbills available.

• I’ve been invited back by Leadership Education for Asian Pacifics (LEAP) to facilitate a free online community workshop on Wed May 21st on celebrating our cultural heritage. After April 16th you can sign up here.

Some recent delights:

• When I was in Portland, we stumbled upon a Clown March in defense of Joy. Clowns! Everywhere!

• If you’re into experimental, ambient, psychedelic rock, check out Darkside.

• This weekend I co-hosted a creative share party where every attendee shared something that they made. We sampled custom cocktails, heard about various art projects, and watched somebody create a beat live. What delight!

Surrender

It’s been a funky month. Likely some combination of the disruption of travel, restlessness, loneliness, and other ingredients I might not even be aware of. A persistent aimlessness as if there’s something I should be doing, somewhere else I should be. 

It hasn’t been a very comfortable feeling. I think I had hoped that by now I would be all settled into San Francisco and working towards some long term goal. Well, I’m all settled in but I’m still not quite sure what I’m doing, exactly. What is this chapter of my life about? What is this all for?

I’m tired of being in transition. I miss having a big-picture vision and feeling like a part of something bigger than myself. I see my friends hitting traditional milestones and centering their lives around partners, kids, houses, corporate ladders, etc. I know those things aren’t right for me right now but I do envy their (supposed) certainty. I, too, would like to know what I’m building towards.

When I was journaling last week, I reflected that maybe the not knowing IS what this chapter is about. I keep wanting to rush through, to get past the discomfort and get to the REAL story. But what am I losing by discarding the in-between? Is there even a “real story” anyway, or is that just wishful thinking? What if I stopped trying so hard and just surrendered to the present moment?

Surrender doesn’t mean giving up. To me, it means accepting what already is. Despite my hopes and subconscious expectations, this is the state of my life right now. My life, despite being mine, has its own rhythm and flow. I know that if I just picked an arbitrary goal for the sake of having one, I wouldn’t be satisfied with that either. Why spend so much energy being willful?

So I practice letting go of the things I can’t control. I stop fighting myself and try to sit with the aimlessness. Hm yes, this is uncomfortable. At the same time, there is a certain relief in surrender. I don’t have to try so hard. I can focus that energy elsewhere, do the things I like and I know are good for me. I can rest and allow things to unfold. When I surrender in this way, I’m trusting that as long as I’m doing what I can, the right thing will emerge at the right time.

I just have to keep my eyes and heart open. 

Take care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• I have openings in my caseload for new individual clients. Sliding scale & superbills available.

• Save the date! I’ve been invited back by Leadership Education for Asian Pacifics (LEAP) to facilitate a free community workshop on Wed May 21st on celebrating our cultural heritage.

Some recent delights:

• It was pouring rain as I wrote this newsletter. What delight!

• The Poetry of Everyday Life by Andrea Gibson. The first time I watched this performance of theirs I burst into tears.

• Apparently, letting your mind wander during moderately engaging activities (showering, walking, etc.) leads to more creativity.

Weighing the Tradeoffs

I lived in Portland for a brief and wonderful year back in 2022. I had always liked the city and I figured it was time to try it out. If not now, then when?

There was so much that I loved about the Pacific Northwest. The greenery, the slower pace of life, the feeling of ease in my body when I was there. The orientation towards the outdoors, the art, the quirkiness of the city and its residents all gave me ongoing delight. Even after a year, I felt like there was still so much to explore.

And yet, and yet. At the end of the year I moved back to the Bay Area, where my parents still live. It’s not an uncommon story. I weighed the tradeoffs of staying or returning and I decided to be closer to my family. 

I use this framing a lot to help my clients make decisions. Instead of trying to figure out what is right or wrong, I ask them, “What are the tradeoffs?” When we step away from the dichotomy of good/bad or right/wrong, we can have a more nuanced exploration of what is important. Ambivalence is much more realistic than having 100% certainty. Only we can decide which tradeoffs are worth it to us.

Even after we go through this process, there’s no guarantee that it’ll turn out how we expect. Humans are terrible at predicting what will make us happy. So maybe decision-making is a combination of thinking through the different tradeoffs and then taking a leap of faith. Trusting in ourselves to deal with the outcome, reminding ourselves that (most) decisions don’t have to be forever. 

These days, I’ve mostly made peace with my decision to come back. I didn’t know how much I would miss Portland, or for how long. However, I know I feel warm and fuzzy when I can help my friends catsit or babysit, or when I swing by my parents’ house for a casual dinner. Being in close proximity to my loved ones allows me to show up for them in a deeper way. 

And yet, and yet. Every so often I still wonder what would have happened if I’d stayed. So who knows?

Take care,

Naomi

Announcements/Resources:

• I have openings in my caseload for new individual clients. Sliding scale & superbills available.

• Save the date! I’ve been invited back by Leadership Education for Asian Pacifics (LEAP) to facilitate a free community workshop on Wed May 21st on celebrating our cultural heritage.

• Click here to read past newsletters.

Some recent delights:

• I attended a free collage night at the Feminist Center for Creative Work down in LA. It’s a wonderful place and I highly recommend you to check it out if you’re close by.

• On a recent roadtrip, we stopped by the tiny town of Chugwater, WY. The mayor Josh was delighted to show us around.

• My almost 9-month old niece has recently started to crawl!!